Today I feel like talking about circles. Now I don’t mean circle in the sense of the shape. I’m sure that’s a very interesting topic, but that’s not the topic of discussion today. Today I want to talk about the four circles that you choose to surround yourself with. You’re probably thinking four? I don’t have four circles surrounding me? Where did you get that number from? So let me break down the number four and explain my theory.
I believe that the first and foremost circle that we choose to have around us, the most inner circle is the wall we build. The ONLY person in this circle is YOU. The only one that truly knows everything about you, and what you really are like as a person is yourself. This can sometimes be a defence mechanism, so you never let your guard fully down, and in doing so reduce the risk of being hurt. Or it can be used as an escape. Many people, including myself have times where we want to be by ourselves, and enjoy our own company. This circle is your break from life, and all the hectic day to day activities going on around you.
Circle number two, is what I like to call the family cycle (bear with me, I’ll go on to explain this. It’s definitely meant to say cycle not circle!).This is for your immediate family, the people you have spent the most hours in your life with. When you think about your childhood it automatically comes with memories of your family. Your family are the closest to knowing what you are like as an individual, because they’ve seen you through the different stages of your life; baby, toddler, teenager, young adult and so forth. I call this circle a cycle, because it is never ending. There are ups, there are downs, there is ALWAYS drama, but when it comes down to it, no matter the situation, there will always be a sense of protection when it comes to family.
The third circle are your friends. I don’t mean the friends you speak to now and then. I mean the friends you call when you need help, advice, to rant, or to support. Your family always wants to protect you, but from what, they don’t always know. Whereas your friends, know all about the highs and the lows, in detail. They will pick you up when you are down, and support you through the toughest of times, and they will clap the hardest when you get back up and overcome the obstacle. These friends are bordering on family, and you can’t imagine life without them.
And the fourth circle is for everyone else. The “accidental circle” .They know you the least, but have the most to say. It’s quite ironic isn’t it? They have this perception of you, which is the farthest from you as a person. They are the ones that matter least yet we tend to spend the most time trying to please. They are circle number four, for a reason. Our mind and body is always trying to protect us from that which isn’t good for us. It tries to keep the negative people at arms length, but we sometime ignore our gut and go against it. That’s the thing about being human. We live, we make mistakes, sometimes more than once, and we learn from it.
For me personally, now having thought of this theory, I like to put it into practise in my everyday life. When a person crosses my path, I like to place them in one of the four circles. The closer they are to the centre, the more time and energy I’ll give them. The further away they are, the further away I keep them. It’s helped me in ensuring I give my time to those who would give it to me, and not waste it on those who wouldn’t waste it on me.
I hope this theory helps you too.