Two short words, that carry so much meaning yet tend to be overused and under delivered more often than not. People seem to say I’m sorry without fully contemplating what they’re apologising for. It’s become as common a phrase as hello and goodbye.
When someone says ‘I’m Sorry’ to you. Do you believe it? Or do you still doubt whether they’re telling the truth or not? For me, the best apology is changed behaviour. Yeah saying ‘I’m Sorry’ is important, but not doing the same damn thing again is more important. So if you are in the wrong, own up to what you didn’t do right. That’s how you learn and earn respect.
I remember the times when I knew I wasn’t in the wrong, but I still found myself apologising all the time. Even if it meant apologising for who I was as a person. I sacrificed my own beliefs to keep peace with other people, who I probably wouldn’t even keep in touch with in the future. See the way that I looked at it was, apologising didn’t necessarily mean that I was wrong and the other person was right. It just meant that I valued our relationship more than my ego. But looking back now, I can see that although this mindset is good, it’s wasted on people who will always choose their pride over what’s right.
I’ve now realised that the ONLY person I should have said these very same words to, was myself. I’m sorry that I put myself last, and everyone else first. I’m sorry I neglected my own sanity and peace, to keep others happy. I’m sorry to the person that I was, she went through so much just to try and make everyone else happy. In trying to keep peace for others, I ended up jeopardising my own.
Never apologise for what you feel. It’s like saying sorry for being real. You don’t have to say “I’m sorry’ for the way you laugh, how you dress, how you speak, how you do your hair, or whether or not you’re wearing make up. Be yourself, and do it fearlessly.
So stop apologising. Unless you’ve actually done something wrong or hurt someone. We say we’re sorry for things we don’t need to be sorry for, like just being ourselves and having a real genuine experience. Just own where you are and what you’re feeling. There’s no need to apologise for being human.
Try it. Say “I’m sorry” to yourself. Maybe you’ll find that that’s where the healing begins.